Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Giving up or moving on?

Well, if we end up moving this summer, as predicted - okay, at this point, nothing will stop us from moving this summer.. But there is a possibility we'll have to move earlier than expected - so IF we end up moving this summer, one of the things I have to consider is my job. I'm not licensed to work in Ontario. I'll have to apply to get licensed, and then I have to jump through a few hoops to receive my permanent license... I'm not sure at this point if it will be worth it. I might get there and be unable to get a job there too. Then I'll be licensed in two provinces, but still not teaching. Is it worth the hassel? Is it worth the money? I'll have to pay to keep my license here, whether or not I'll be working, or I would never be able to teach again without going back to school and being re-certified. Sooo... what will I do? I have no idea.

In anticipation of moving, I've asked to be evaluated. This is happening tomorrow. I am NOT looking forward to it by any stretch of the imagination. It is rarely a pleasant experience having someone watch your every move, poke through all of your stuff, and then tell you everything you're doing wrong. Teaching is an art form, I believe. We are always growing, learning, expanding our horizons, our experiences.. And no two classes are the same... It's so hard to get everything right.. What if I've choosen a lesson that will not go the way I expected? This is often the case! The students are always surprising me with what they know, and what they don't, what they can do, and what they can't... What if one of the students acts up, or I miss something..? I mean, I can't be expected to be perfect. I'm not expected to be perfect. So why do we have to do these evalutions? Because they want to know how perfect we are, and if you're not perfect you don't get a job... *sigh*... It's so unfair.

So I'm thinking this might be my last teaching evaluation. Ever.

What will I do next? I have no idea.

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